Granny situation getting worst

Today went down to see granny at Assisi Hospice after a week she discharged from SGH.

Looking at her, she like aged a lot compare a week before. She became more and more tired, sleepy and quiet. She also lost her appetiate too...  Seeing her getting weaker my heart breaks... 

Today I'm the first to reach there and everything was fine even I talked to her. After my first uncle and aunt are here, she became 'blur' and been talking nonsense too... The surrounding was touch at that moment as I never see my granny holding my aunt's hand so tight. After that my godma, god-dad, mum and cousins came too. At first we having some fun and joke to cheer her up and even my niece dance and sing song (Nobody) to her... She laughed at that moment. Just after a short while, cried and said her leg is in pain. So we used the medicated oil to rubber on her but the pain got worst that she cried and asked us over to her bed... Holding each of our hand tight and said a lot of things... Tears just flow down from our eyes... 

Screen like so touching... I cried a lot over there as my granny hold my hands very tight and I gave her a big hug and kiss her. (I think this is my first kiss to my granny after I grown up.) After talking to her and we keep telling her she will be fine, etc... Hands still holding tight after she went to bed.

Come to think of it, I really didn't really spend a lit of time with her recently or should said after I started work. I really need to spend time with her as she's my loving granny...

Been feeling so tired

Recently I been feeling so tired.. Just don't know why. Maybe not working for the past 4 months and now back to work that's why my body not used to it. :-) or maybe I didn't sleep well due to my granny illness.

Her illness has got worst this time. Doctor has confirmed that her cancer cells has spread to her left kneel cap and right hip, now it's the 4th stage. Her illness has make us to make a discision to let her to go to hospice. For me, I wanted her to stay home but we really got no choice as no one is taking care of her. I even dreamt of her and she told me that she didn't want to stay there. Keep asking me to bring her home.

I really feel very sad and hopeless that I can't even help my granny. I just really hope that she can live longer even the doctor said she only left with about 2.5 years.