Back from HK

I'm back! I feel so tired and shag for this trip. I have no idea why. Maybe its a rushing trip. I never ever rush for a ship nor a flight so far and this trip I did both of it. =) Come to think of it, I feel so tired now... Didn't seem to enjoy at all except my niece gives us a lot of laughter and fun to this trip. =)

Leaving to HK

In another 10hrs, I will be leaving to HongKong. I started to miss him already... This afternoon, I did sms-ed to him that I started to think and miss him badly... He told me that he will send me to the airport tomorrow morning after his party but when I heard that I'm little angry as I don't want him to drink and drive and lost his licence again... =(

But after telling him that, he told me that he won't drink that much and he will come and pick me from home then we head down to his home and get his car to drive me off to airport.

Trust or NO Trust???

Since two weeks ago which is a Friday, 20 February 2009. My Dear has no trust in me as I told him a lie that I went to Philippines as I have reason for me to do so... =(

On the 28 February, he had choose to talk to me on this 'lie'. Why am I telling him this lie? He looked at my phone. Browsing all my contacts, messages, log, etc... All I have to do is to keep quiet. I know I'm in the SUPER wrong this time. But just don't want him to worried for me, I choose to not tell him where I go to so I told him a lie.

Anyway now wherever I go to, I have to inform him. I don't mind to do all this but can he do the same to me???

I have no trust in him too... But when I asked him for his phone, he just simply don't allow me to touch it. Its really UNFAIR! But all these I didn't told him... I don't want to quarrel with him. But I really don't why he is so anxious about me even he don't want to open up this relationship... I feel very 'xin ku' at times... Everytime he goes party, I really don't wish people telling me that he with another very close. The girl kiss him, etc... I really had enough of this... I really feel very 'xin ku'. Telling my friends about it, no matter is a guy or gal. All gave me the same answer: 'Just leave him and you will sure find someone who is better than him.'

Friends, I know that but I just can't let go, you know???

I really don't know what to do now??? Can someone tell me please??? =(