Party time... =)

It's been a long long time I enjoyed my party... Yesterday went down to dragonfly as usual same old people... I was so enjoyed with myself as I danced and drink whole night... I'm so enjoyed yesterday... Don't feel any tired at all... =)

I have no idea why too... Come to think about it, I was thinking what happen to me huh?? =)

Maybe alot of things has clarified with him... That's why I feel so relax yesterday... =) I even use his phone to take picture with him and he has no rejection to it... haha... (first time lor) =) Sometimes really have a serious and peacefully talk is good... This show that how the person will care and concern about you... =)

Feeling bored...

This week, Don is busy entertaining his customers from overseas and has been out since early morning and back home late... The only time I can see him now is during his sleep or early morning before he stepped out to work... =(

Today is friday, my time is pass slowly everyday and its getting bored staying home most of the time and surfing internet looking for jobs... Been hunting for jobs everyday and yet not much respond to it. *sigh* Now is hard as everyone is waiting for their year end bonus. Hopefully next month will be better. =)

Granny recovering...

At 1241hrs, Granny's doctor called me up. Asking me questions and give me some feedback on my granny suitation. Today she is going for her CT Brain scan. If this scan is fine, she will be discharge tomorrow. (Now praying everything to be fine on granny.)

Not working on my 2nd day

I'm not working for 2 days le. Nowadays are hard to find job. Maybe due to year end or economy is still not recover yet. Friends and colleagues has been asking me why I resign so quietly. All I give is just a smile... =) Closed friends will know what had happened in office. I just can't stand what that OLD MAN do things!!! Living for about 62years yet acting like kids!!! Acting like kids is ok but please don't let me take over your 'black' sheep... I really have enough of all these shits! Friends who are reading my blog, you should know how I feel. =(

Granny has admitted to hospital again, this time she admitted due to she had a bad fall at home. Went to visit her this afternoon. The moment I saw her, I was shocked as she had a very BIG 'ba lu ku' on her right side forehead.

Here I come!!! ~ Kelong

Tonight I'm leaving to Singapore Kelong but still up to upon approval as what I know is Singapore Kelong, ladies are not allowed to go... I have no idea what's the reason are just not allow unless you are the owner wife or children. Anyway I just let my darling inform me whether I can go or not... Even if I can't go, I can just go to Malaysia Kelong tomorrow...

Tomorrow, there are 11 of us going. Me and my darling; Tracy's family, Chong's family and friends... I heard its fully booked this weekend due to long weekend in Singapore and Malaysia. Hopefully I have some peaceful nights when I sleep and manage to catch some BIG fish in this trip...

1st Bowling

Last Sunday, 13 September 2009. Its not a special day to everyone but to me YES! Coz this is the first time me and his family members went to bowling and it's the first time after our dinner we have activites... I feel so happy on this day... As we have fun playing it and talking to each other more than we having dinner. =)

SHITS that I got from my boss

I'm really super sad yesterday... After my lunch, I saw an internal message from HR. They want to have a private talk with me. So I went up. Chatting for 30mins and notice that is my bosses who report to them...

HR didn't question me at all... Just asking some work related issue. I told my HR I know company policy. I won't just leave office without reason, all these I have black & white. Even I go for my medical appointments, I will ask doctor to issue time-off sheet. Visiting customers without boss accompany, I will send email or verbally tell them in advance. Now they said that I left office early without telling them... All these really make me piss off. I don't exepect my bosses will do this to me. If other people ask about me, they should know how to answer for me. But who knows, they didn't...

Its ok for this issue, I will just forget it. But what about when MD asked about them when they are not in the office? I just simply replied MD that they went out for meeting with who and who... Got problem, I helped them to solve. But what about me??? When I faced problems at work, they don't help me end up push more blames to me instead of helping... I really feel very sad towards the actions of my bosses they did to me...

Really got the urge to throw letter now as I find it is meaningless to stay here for long... =(

Kelong - 14-160609

A week ago, just came back from Kelong trip. This time is just only me and Don. We have our own 'private boat' to shutter us to Kelong.. =) In this trip, I was (so called) surprised to see Sharon as she told me, she going to the same Kelong as me. It has been a long long time that I didn't see her... Met her hubby and friends during the trip. We even went out of sea to fish for Sotong... =) I caught a lot of Sotongs for this trip... Never had that much that I had fished for... =) Me and Don had a competition on Sotong... See who catch the most Sotong and I won! =)

Anyway this trip is so nice that there's no waiting, just only two of us... Nice!

It's been a long long time...

that I didn't update my blog... Basically nothing much has happened for the past few weeks. Work life is a bit sucks as there's rumours spreading saying that increment and bonus are freezed... After hearing that a lot of us have no mood to work at all as last year, our dept has make a big profit. Hope it will not come true after the final decision. =)

As for my love life, everything seem good... I find that I'm ready to let him go anytime now as I did not really care for him so much after the last quarrel. I have no idea whether is it good or not but it's really sad to say that way... In my mind, I'm thinking if I'm going to put full efforts on him, yet there's no in return. I will get hurt more than him. That's why recently whatever he do or goes to, I don't really want to ask. I just let it take it natural for now on...

Lunar Birthday

The sweetest thing I received early in the morning is I saw a greeting paper which my Mum wrote to me, wishing me Happy Lunar Birthday. =) I was so touch that at that moment. =) In the note, she said: "Your birthday red eggs are on the dining table." Something to surprise me is that each of the egg has two yolks!!! Which mean that 2 eggs got 4 yolks! I didn't had that kind of experience before... =) What a surprise?! I'm wondering is there any meaning to it? =)

Updates~

Sorry Freinds, didn't have the time to update my blogs as I'm pretty busy with works and personal life (not getting married hor... =) ) Just busy setting up my own business soon which is online business.. =) Going to be a lady boss liao... haha... At this present moment, I'm not going to tell you what I going to do yet... Yet to disclose to you soon... =)

Secondly, my love life is a bit sucks especially this week... =( After being together with him for a year plus, I have come to think about it, me and him like there's no future as what I see from my side... (I'm really sad to say that... =( ) Last Tuesday, I purpose met him for dinner and wanted to talk about our relationship... But somehow when I looked at him, I can't say a single word... After he sent me back, I was walking along the road thinking about it and cried as I just bear to lose him... My friend, Joey, Melvin and Mark has been giving me courage to say but i just can't said it out... =(

After awhile, he called me and ask me have I reached home. I just told him 'NO' and explained to him why... On the phone, I told him that I have something to tell you but just that I can't say a single word when I looked at him... On the phone, I said everything out... =( Especially how I feel towards him, etc... This relationship really makes me crazy compare to the past relationships that I had.

I know all my friends told me that I deserve someone who is better compare to him... But I just can't let him go as I love him too much...

This whole week, I'm so restless and I only work on Tuesday. I can't even sleep well at night too... Feel like drinking till drunk everyday, just to make me sleep well instead of having sleeping pills.

I really feel like ending this relationship but I really CAN'T!!! I know there's no one can help me, but I really want it as I don't want to suffer anymore!!! =(

Had a fall

1st April - After two days of medical leave, the first thing I stepped into office. Something has happened to me. I had a fall in my office when I'm using the internal staircase, I have no idea how I fall. When I stand up and was accompanied by my colleague, Christina and Jeslyn. My tears was about to drop as I felt so pain. My leg was so pain. Just got a few scratches and slight bruises. Lucky didn't hit my head and my back.. My after awhile my back feels the pain so I decided to report to my HR but after sending the email, there's no reply from them. I'm wondering whether will they take any actions. Sigh... I hope they will do something to that staircase as the non-slip tape is wore out.

Back from HK

I'm back! I feel so tired and shag for this trip. I have no idea why. Maybe its a rushing trip. I never ever rush for a ship nor a flight so far and this trip I did both of it. =) Come to think of it, I feel so tired now... Didn't seem to enjoy at all except my niece gives us a lot of laughter and fun to this trip. =)

Leaving to HK

In another 10hrs, I will be leaving to HongKong. I started to miss him already... This afternoon, I did sms-ed to him that I started to think and miss him badly... He told me that he will send me to the airport tomorrow morning after his party but when I heard that I'm little angry as I don't want him to drink and drive and lost his licence again... =(

But after telling him that, he told me that he won't drink that much and he will come and pick me from home then we head down to his home and get his car to drive me off to airport.

Trust or NO Trust???

Since two weeks ago which is a Friday, 20 February 2009. My Dear has no trust in me as I told him a lie that I went to Philippines as I have reason for me to do so... =(

On the 28 February, he had choose to talk to me on this 'lie'. Why am I telling him this lie? He looked at my phone. Browsing all my contacts, messages, log, etc... All I have to do is to keep quiet. I know I'm in the SUPER wrong this time. But just don't want him to worried for me, I choose to not tell him where I go to so I told him a lie.

Anyway now wherever I go to, I have to inform him. I don't mind to do all this but can he do the same to me???

I have no trust in him too... But when I asked him for his phone, he just simply don't allow me to touch it. Its really UNFAIR! But all these I didn't told him... I don't want to quarrel with him. But I really don't why he is so anxious about me even he don't want to open up this relationship... I feel very 'xin ku' at times... Everytime he goes party, I really don't wish people telling me that he with another very close. The girl kiss him, etc... I really had enough of this... I really feel very 'xin ku'. Telling my friends about it, no matter is a guy or gal. All gave me the same answer: 'Just leave him and you will sure find someone who is better than him.'

Friends, I know that but I just can't let go, you know???

I really don't know what to do now??? Can someone tell me please??? =(

My Photos on Beautybox Blogspot

Yesterday, received a call from Chris from Beautybox. He told me that he has uploaded my photos on their blog... When I heard it, I was so shocked but after looking at it, I feel so happy... As I love the whole album of myself. =)

Check this out... =)

http://thebeautyboxstudio97.blogspot.com/2009/02/fion-essential-folio-w-20r-album.html

Valentine Day

Now is 2040hrs, I'm at East Coast Park now.. Walking along the path by myself... This is my first Valentine Day with my Dear and its not only two of us. Its with a group of his friends as one of his friend birthday falls today and the other is a week later.. I feel so weird... I dunno why... I really just want to celebrate it just two of us instead of a group... Maybe I'm very selfish but no matter what its our first Valentine Day... I feel very bored in this chalet... None of his friends I know... I dunno what to talk to them too.. :-( Just not to express my bored in front of him, I decided to talk a walk by myself...

After my stroll and back to the chalet, I saw my Dear was playing Mahjong with his friends. I have no objection on him playing Mahjong with his friends but please just care a bit of me. I have take a stroll for almost an hour and I didn't hear from him for that hour even I went back to chalet and he didn't even ask about me. After staying there for less than 15 minutes, I decided to take a walk again. But this time, I decided to sit by the beach... I feel so lonely in this Valentine Day, I don't know why althought I went to chalet with a group of friends. Maybe he left me out when all his friends are around... =) Anyway after sitting by the beach for 30minutes, I decided to send him a message.

I sent: Dear, Can I go home?

He replied: Why?

I sent: Nothing why...

He replied: You really want to go home?

I sent: Do you think I'm joking?

He replied: Where you now?

I sent: I'm sorry... I really didn't prepare my first Valentine day with you is like that... You stay and enjoy...

He replied: Come back now then we go ok?

I sent: Is ok Dear... You stay and enjoy... I just don't want to spoily everyone's mood.. Ok?

He replied: I'm sorry... You can back now for cake cutting then we go ok?

I sent: Don't need to say sorry... My hp really going to gone... You stay...

After all these message, I decided to walk back to chalet as I really didn't want to spend it this way... Althought I feel very sad about it but in the afternoon, he said something to me. 'Do you want flowers?' I straight away replied and tell him... NO!. I want him to do flowers for me instead of buying for me... =)

Korea Trip CANCEL

The moment I step into the office, my colleague told me that our Korea trip has CANCEL!!!

When I heard it, I feel so moody... =( No mood to work... When I switch on my pc, look at the email that my MD send. Everyone of us not in the mood to work now... Keep chatting with each other on internal message why cancel?... Some of my colleagues even bought winter clothings, gloves, etc... As for me, I only bought the heat-pack. But I also feel sad that we can't go for the trip... It's just another one more week plus we can go for this trip and end-up it's a disappointment to us... =)

This is what my MD written:

Dear all,

I have decided to postpone our company trip to Korea originally planed Feb 19-22.

Our head office strongly requests us to save all kind of cost to take over the current economic scare
and after my deep consideration in order to keep CIPLAS and CIPLAS’s status inside Itochu Group as
an excellent company I have took this decision. CIPLAS is still going well with your constant and
big effort but All Itochu Group is dropping their business result dramatically facing with very sever
business circumstance.

I am sorry for trouble you all but please understand the situation correctly.

Rgds/Fujitsuka

Love You

After so long, finally I receive a message from my Dear that he told me he LOVE ME. Its was on 18 Jan 09 @ 1025hrs. At that time, I'm totally lost. I don't know whether is it true or not. I have doubt when I received that message. I don't why I think this way.

The 2nd time I receive is on 2 Feb 09 @ 1927hrs. Before he sent to me this, I just sent him a simple message " I Love You Dear... Muack'. And he just replied me 'Love You'. I feel so happy when I see that after I sent him that message. =)

But yesterday, he was in a bad mood. I have no idea what had happened to him... I just feel something is not right at that moment. So I decided to sent him a message.

I sent: I don't know what had happen to you again. Yesterday was fine. I really hope you can shre with me your problems... I know I can't help you with your problems but I can just lend you my ears to you... I don't like to see or hear you like that... Dear, share with me if you want.. I LOVE YOU DEAR... Muack... Good night...

He replied: Nite nite...

Dear, all this while I don't give you my blog add cause I feel that you should know what I'm thinking.

Dear, I want to be your DEAR not your GAL, ok? Love you...

Singapore Flyer - 27 Jan 09

Finally, I took my ride on Singapore Flyer. Me and Dear decided to travel this flyer on 27 January 2009 and it's also our first picture taken of the year too. =)

We pretty enjoy our whole ride but a bit of disappointment as we can't see the sunset on that day... We purposely arrange that just to see the sunset for this year... Something new to see it in the flyer. =) Thought can be romantic but end up is a disappointment. =(

Our tickets

We took cabin 7

First pic taken in 2009 =)

View of ECP

View from the top in the cabin

Our 1st pic taken in 2009 =)

About ME!

Sorry for not updating my blog for a long time as I have been very moody for the past 2 weeks.

2 weeks ago, just before Lunar New Year. I went to see doctor regarding my breast as I feel a lump in it... After seeing the doctor and done a ultra-sound on it. There's a bad news which I receive from the doctor. She has advise me to go to the breast center at KK Hospital. SHe told me that nothing is serious, just want me to do a further test on it. But when I think of it, if there's nothing serious why must I go for the test? That's really puzzled me for the past 2 weeks. Feel so moody and restless... =(

Updates:

I went to see doctor on Monday for further consultation. After seeing the senior consultant, the doctor told me that nothing serious but one of the cells is BIG and need to be monitor after 4 months later... After I heard that I don't whether I should feel relief or scared at that time... If nothing is serious, I should go back every 6 months instead of 4 months later... What if the cell grow bigger? As now I can feel the cell myself. =(

I really feel so sad about it... But Dear told me to think of the bright side...

Quote: Things will be like sun so bright and the sea so blue...

Company Incentive Trip

Finally my company have decided the trip and this time we will be going to Korea for Ski... =) But I'm still planning whether should I go or not as after seeing the intinery, I feel that I won't be enjoying the trip after that beside Ski... =)

But no matter how, I have decided to go as I just want to Ski and do a bit of shopping over there...

Now I will have a headache don't know what I should bring for this trip as the weather will be very cold...

End of 2008 and Beginning of 2009

Today is the 1st day of 2009, last night Don brought me to see Fireworks. So nice and sweet of him as today he needs to wake up at 6am to go and catch prawns and fishing for fish... =) This time I can't go with him as he told me that they will be going up to the ship and it's very inconvenient for a woman to go up too... (like going to toilet as there's no toilet! =) )

Till now he is still not back as he told me that its raining heavily there. So he will be back late. =( Now I'm just waiting for him to see whats he got today and I'm ready for him to cook the prawn for me too... keke... I relly can't wait anymore... Feeling hungry now... haha...