kind of lost in this tiny world

Somehow, I pretty lost in a way that I have no direction what to do, where to go, what am I doing, etc... It seem like I have lost my sense of belonging in this tiny world and started to hate myself for no reasons. Why am I taking all those pills to control all this? Can I do it without it? I really have no idea on this...

I really want to let go everything but.... Letting it go is not easy at all... It just like accepting something/someone is not easy too if there's an unhappy things that had happen before. I really feel so lost till I really don't know what the hack am I doing?

I'm really very sick and tired of my life... Thought of ending it but I will hurt those people who care and love me...

Can someone please tell me what had happen to me or what should I do?