Richard Tan's Wedding

Hmm... Another few more hours, I will be attending Richard's wedding at Harbourfront... He told me that he invited a lot of our secondary school classmates and school mates. At this moment, I don't feel like going as I'm afraid that I will think of my cousin, Adrain. =( As most of them are very close to him... I just feel very sad now... Holding on to my tears whenever I think of my cosuin. I have tried not to think of him, but I'm just afraid that when I go to this dinner, I will start to think of him again... =(

What should I do? Should I go or not?

Updates:
Finally I decided to go to Richard's wedding... The moment I reached there, I felt a bit lost and strange as it has been a long long time I didn't met up with my secondary friends... =) After awhile, I felt ok and so happy after knowing that so many of them are happily married and have children in their lives now... Among them I think I'm the last to get married... =) When will it be my turn??? WHEN???... haha... =)

Xmas celebration

Hmm... Didn't really celebrate this Xmas as I feel that it just another normal day of drinking session. =) We celebrating this Xmas at St James, Movida. Nothing special just the same old people that we hang out with... But that night, I got to know Chole's friends.. They are very nice and full of fun too... Makes me laugh and laugh... =)

After Movida, we went to Powerhouse and Dragonfly... Both places are so crowded with people even it already 4am! OMG! I was thinking how come these people they don't want to go home to catch their beauty sleep? keke... =) As for me, how come I'm still outside at that weee hours because Don's friends is still having fun.. But for me, I'm so tired... =)

The time we left the place is about 5plus in the morning, by the time we reached home, its already almost 6am! OMG! The next day I woke up, I saw 'panda eyes'... haha... But lucky I manage to sleep the whole afternoon on Xmas day with nobody disturbing me.. =)

New Year eve will be another round of drinking session if we don't go to kelong for fishing... =)

Early best wishes to everyone out there a Happy 2009 New Year!!!

Kelong Trip - 06-081208

Just came back Kelong trip again, this time we have 24 pax going which mean there are a total of 7 cars driving up to Sibu. =) This is the first time that Don bought so many people up there.

This trip I didn't take much photos as it rain through-out the 3days 2 nights. Rain stop and come... Make me sleep so much for these few days till my dark eye-rings got lighter... Horray!!

Here are some of the pics which we taken:

kind of lost in this tiny world

Somehow, I pretty lost in a way that I have no direction what to do, where to go, what am I doing, etc... It seem like I have lost my sense of belonging in this tiny world and started to hate myself for no reasons. Why am I taking all those pills to control all this? Can I do it without it? I really have no idea on this...

I really want to let go everything but.... Letting it go is not easy at all... It just like accepting something/someone is not easy too if there's an unhappy things that had happen before. I really feel so lost till I really don't know what the hack am I doing?

I'm really very sick and tired of my life... Thought of ending it but I will hurt those people who care and love me...

Can someone please tell me what had happen to me or what should I do?